Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Two words: blizzard sex
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
