dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
