Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
