she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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