new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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