Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
