I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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