I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
