I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
