I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she peed on how many people?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
