No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
