u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
