either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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