if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
