Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
