How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
