11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need to calm my uterus...
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