On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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