It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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