Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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