11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
