My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
