She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
