dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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