He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
