Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
