U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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