i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
