i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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