omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
