have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
