ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
