do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
