do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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