I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
