I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
