stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
