You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
