we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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