i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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