Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
