You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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