just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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