Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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