he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
