He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
