I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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