guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
