Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
