at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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