i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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