Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
