Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No subtext here. People are naked.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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