True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Everything about him screamed your future.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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