We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
