My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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