you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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