He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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